Developed by the Fine Gael DIGITAL TASK FORCE
Last night while browsing the internet for an informative piece on the upcoming election I stumbled upon “Go Ireland: The Video Game.” Somehow I managed to miss an entire Video Game Development studio being set up in Ireland but “Fine Gael” has already released it’s first title. They helpfully reminded me that this was Go Ireland “THE VIDEO GAME” because otherwise I might have gotten it confused with the chant.
Staight away the game plunged me into the shoes of reluctant hero “Enda Kenny” as I ran down the famous Ireland Road and jumped over the famous Ireland Floating Platforms. Enda’s greatest obstacle in the initial stages of the game is a legion of VLC Media Player Logos, Enda must be intimidated by open source because not only can the spikey bits of VLC logo kill him but so can the soft roundy bits at the side.
Friendly Blue Jumpers, EVIL VLC
Get Enda past the logos and he faces his first real threat, oh no wait, these are just helpful friendly NPCs, I know because they’re wearing blue jumpers and have big signs that say “Fine Gael” and “Change” and have charts with friendly numbers on them, did I mention I love Fine Gael and Change and friendly numbers already? Enda gleefully begins to track down “Vote 1″ tokens and Implement his “5 Step Plan” Already Enda has enriched one of Ireland’s Floating Platforms with a factory and a windmill.
Friendly Graphs and Health!
But it looks like Enda is about to face some not so friendly people, oh no! Its the Evil Brian Lenihan, he’s running back and forth on that Ireland Platform, this isn’t a problem for Enda! Thankfully I’ve got my trust Election Ninja Stars, “TAX THAT!” shouts Enda as he mercilessly flings two jagged election stars into Lenihans back. The fight isn’t over yet Enda! Look its evil Gerry Adams, he’s wearing a red tie, the bastard! Most people would think twice before election starring Gerry but Enda has no time for fear of consequences. A quick star to the face, Gerry turns and runs but Enda shows no mercy and rams a fatal star into Adams back. “IT’S THE ECONOMY, STUPID!” screams Enda as Gerry’s final thoughts of his wife and children fade out with his heartbeat.
Enda briefly pauses to take in Gerrys Bloody Remains
Enda receives a standing ovation for presenting his opponents intestines
Filled with Political Reform energy Enda dashes to the finish line decapitating Michael Martin before front flipping down to a crowd of smiling Fine Gael faces. Heart pounding from the smell of blood Enda completely forgets to implement/collect 3 Steps of his plan but it turns out that didn’t matter because a big sign just told me VICTORY.
Move over Gordon Freeman, theres a new protagonist in town!
WINNER!!!!
