Its been over 20 years, but playing  Ghosts ‘N Goblins still just makes me want to fire my controller through the f*ckin’ TV. Those weird attacking plant things, those impossible jumps to moving platforms, those sadistic & relentless diving red devil dudes … I should stop playing this. But I don’t.

I keep coming back to Ghosts ‘N Goblins’ endlessly frustrating level of challenge for some unhealthily masochistic reason, and in this latest Wii re-release of the Capcom original I once again find myself stuck back in the familiar routine of starting up the game, playing it for a while, dying, screaming at my TV and then starting it all over again. Rinse and repeat for 20 more times.

I may need help because if any other game was this difficult I wouldn’t be wasting my time with it but for some unknown reason I give this game the benefit of the doubt. Its a side scrolling platformer stars an armor-packing, lance-weilding knight named Arthur on a quest to find and rescue his kidnapped girlfriend, who was kidnapped whilst picnicking in a grave yard. Yes… a grave yard. Let it go…

It’s level after punitive level and if you somehow manage to magically survive the entire onslaught of the game’s seven stages, the crafty desingers of Capcom circa 1985 have one last kick in the stones for you– a false ending. WHAT!! You’re actually forced to play through the entire game twice to achieve the true ending events, and the second time through is even harder than the first. I know this from having read about it back in my Games Master magazine. I’ve never actually achieved that level of mastery with a Knight in his underpants.

Basically, prepare to be infuriated. To be honest I think most gamers out there would probably be better served by avoiding this download. Certainly if this is your first taste of the Ghosts ‘N Goblins experience you might consider this to be money wasted. In fact I’d say stay away from it, keep your sanity. But if you share my madness and enjoy this franchise’s incredible ability to make you want to punch a hole in your coffee table, download quickly.